I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
third nipple confirmed
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
