yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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