ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
