you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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