Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
