Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
