Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
