Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
