Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
