think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
