I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
