Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
