i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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