She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
