I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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