I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
