They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
