I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
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We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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