"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
