I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
