He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
