How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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