Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
