people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
