maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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