I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
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I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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