just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
