He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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