Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
