Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
