he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You're a waste of cheezeits
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize