Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
