So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Green mimosas i think yes
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
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In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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