oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
