good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
