her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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