So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
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I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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