ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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