go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize