if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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