It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
