I'm going to jail i love you
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
