Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
