Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
