What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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