I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
