oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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