guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
