I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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