Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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