i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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