I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
