Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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