the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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