idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
