so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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