Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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