i think my tv is drunk
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
