Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
