Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
