Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
