Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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