i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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