my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
